When diversity has been reduced to a trend and representation has become nothing but a buzzword, art and media made by and starring Indian-Americans has increased in quantity but quality is where things start to falter.
In the past year, I’ve watched three new American movies written by and starring Indians: India Sweets and Spices, Hot Mess Holiday, and Wedding Season.
They all capitalize off of the major South Asian cultural touchstones: gossiping aunties, pressure to get married, attending prestigious colleges that result in lucrative careers, and the shame that comes with it all.
Hot Mess Holiday is… well, a hot mess. It was made with the intention of being a buddy comedy led by two young Indian women in an effort to show the world that Diwali is more than just an episode of The Office. But, even a cameo from actor turned politician turned icon Kal Penn isn’t enough to save this movie.
I watched it back in December and don’t want to pay three dollars to jog my memory so I can’t say much more. I texted my boyfriend to see if he had any input other than my recollection of it being genuinely unfunny; in a series of texts, the best South Asian actor of our generation said, “It was just straight up awful. No plot points. No story. Not at all character driven.”
Just last night, the two of us watched the newest cheesy Netflix rom-com: Wedding Season starring Life of Pi’s Suraj Sharma. This movie has everything you’d want from a movie of its genre–a fake relationship, attractive Indians, and a wedding/dance/relationship montage.
The story follows Asha Maurya, a workaholic in finance who isn’t interested in a relationship but feels the need to appease her parents after losing Jersey’s hottest bachelor. After her mom posts her bio data online, she meets Ravishankar Shah, spelling bee champion/MIT dropout/DJ. They both face pressures from their families to reach the Indian standards of success when it comes to their love lives and careers despite what they actually want for themselves. Consequently, they decide to fake date to get their parents and aunties off their backs.
While the writing was a bit melodramatic for my taste and lacking the comedy element of romantic comedy–especially when the parents gathered for a group picture and said “Paneer!” instead of “Cheese!”– I can still see the appeal. Given Netflix’s rom-com reputation, to scroll through the category and be able to see a movie like Wedding Season feels like a step in the right direction–even if it’s not perfect.
The downfall of these movies is their employment of stereotypes. Indian parents are strict, they care a lot about maintaining a certain appearance by having their kids attend prestigious colleges and marry successful partners, and their kids tend to abide by these rules–at least on the surface.
Stereotypes can be rooted in a version of the truth– I’ve known Indian families that act like the ones you see in movies. The problem is that while these characteristics are real–they lack context and nuance.
Sure, Indian parents place a huge emphasis on grades, college, and occupation but where do those values come from? Indian families often try to impress other families in their communities, even if it means being dishonest, but what makes them care so much? First generation Indian kids face a huge pressure from their parents to meet unrealistic expectations while sacrificing their own desires and passions– but how does that strain their relationships with their parents and with themselves?
India Sweets and Spices addresses all of the above with heart and humor, making it my current standard for what storytelling that comes out of our need for representation can accomplish.
Alia comes home for summer vacation to the wealthy suburbs of New Jersey with a newfound clarity for her family’s dynamics and the bullshit she puts up with from the rest of the Indian community.
Most of these interactions take place at the extravagant parties each family hosts every other weekend in their million dollar mansions. She receives backhanded compliments at every turn and potential marriage matches in between but after all the years of growing up in toxicity, she can no longer tolerate it.
Here begins her journey to investigate what her parents and their ‘friends’ are hiding while gaining a new perspective from the cute Indian boy whose family owns the local Indian grocery store, India Sweets and Spices.
This film addresses the hypocrisy and classism that often pollute upper class South Asian communities with relationships and dialogue that reflect reality. It explores how despite coming from humble upbringings in India, newfound wealth and prosperity in America can bring out a side of Indian parents that makes them forget where they came from.
With the well intentioned goal of creating better and easier lives for their kids than they had, these aunties and uncles shift to wanting their kids to be better than everyone else. What starts out as an attempt to create community and family in a new country becomes participation in a baseless competition that leaves everyone empty hearted.
I stand by the fact that being an Indian from Jersey is a red flag–but so is being an Indian from the Bay Area. I’ve witnessed countless scarily similar interactions amongst members of the gossiping, Tesla driving, new sari every party Indians of the town I grew up in, and have always wondered how we got like this.
In some ways, my family is no different than the ones in these movies. I go to NYU and my dad was always a sucker for a BMW, but it’s not the privilege I have that’s the problem–it’s the way that privilege can turn into a sense of superiority and immorality when your family cares more about how you look to other families than who you actually are.
The intense shame that lingers around Indian-American communities is not something I quite understand yet but I know that it takes a toll on us and seeps into the movies we make, whether we know it or not. While these movies don’t always get it right, they share the sentiment that we have to stop hiding from who we truly are and what we truly want in order to have the kind of life our parents intended for us to have when they moved here. A life that is ours.
Currently Listening:
- the entirety of RENAISSANCE by Beyoncé
Currently Reading
- Midnight’s Children by Salman Rushdie
